Download the new Coldplay album FREE!

Thats right, just follow the link below, read the whole article & a free download of the new leaked Coldplay album will magically appear, maybe…. either that or you won’t feel like downloading it anymore…

why i hate coldplay

I once turned down a semi-paid gig reviewing local electronic music releases because the conclusion I came to was this; its far harder to eloquently & constructively explain why you dont like (& in some cases dislike/hate with a passion) an album, than it does to boot up a thesaurus, recycle the press release & just feed the marketing machine… Maybe it is easier if you are simply a fan who doesnt know what the word discerning means, but this guy makes it seem like poetry:

“Coldplay have conquered the charts with the sonic equivalent of wilted spinach….. But Eno’s presence begs its own question, of course. I recall an occasion back in the Eighties, when the young Eddie Murphy, his career then in the ascendant, was drafted in to salvage an appalling Dudley Moore comedy called Best Defense, through the insertion of about 10 minutes of extraneous footage of him pootling about in an army tank. The film was still terrible, and when asked why on earth he had accepted the part, Murphy shrugged and said: “There was a knock at my door, and when I opened it four men came in bearing an enormous cheque.”

heh heh

“….the album is almost exactly as I expected, if a tad shorter on Big Anthems than the previous three. The rhythms are a bit busier, and a bit more ethnic, and Chris Martin’s little falsetto catch – one of modern music’s most irritating tropes – has been rationed out more parsimoniously. (Thanks, Eno!) Pop’s favourite Brianiac has ensured the sonic prerequisites are all in good order. And in a few cases, the songs do seem to be about things, rather than just anaemic expressions of emotional indulgence and limp consolation….”

Be thankful for small mercies!

“…but for me, it’s the band’s anguished professions of supposed political concern, while simultaneously indulging the rampant self-pity of the most cosseted, comfortable constituency of music fans the world has ever known – that’s the most irritating aspect of Coldplay. Rock’n’roll used to be a rallying cry, a clarion call; now, in their hands, it’s just a palliative.”

(btw, the title of this post was solely for the searchbots – welcome oh semi-sentient software)

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