Going Postal?

Going postal is one of those American idioms at which the rest of the world just go ‘huh?’…. or in more modern parlance; WTF? Of course the urban dictionary can provide answers: “Gone crazy or insane; irrational. Came into use after a number of workplace shootings by disgruntled U.S. post office workers.” How did those postal workers get disgruntled, so disgruntled to bear arms? Maybe its the setting, I laughed (yes out loud) when I read some random twitter debris: “I need a gun… to protect me against all the gun nuts’ – indeed!
But twice now I’ve been a recipient from someone going ‘postal’ – not in the literal sense but using the moving of ‘real’ objects via the postal system to mess with my mind…. The first time I think actually involved a courier (and courier insurance with it), but here’s what arrived at my studio one sunny morning back in the early 2000s…

Scary huh? What would you think if it turned up at your place unannounced? I of course called my few exGFs & left enough pauses for any one of them to make a point, but no takers… a week passes… I start to assimilate it into the debris in my studio.. another few weeks pass… we get a turnover for another episode of a TV series that we’re working on at the time & FCK! There it is ONSCREEN – it a FCKNG PROP!!!!! Call up the production office… muffled laughter… “Richard (production recordist) thought you might need it to record” – nice one! Thanks for not including a note, or a return address or anything… Well you know what they say… No? well revenge is a dish best served cold; I bide my time (is a decade long enough?) but in the meantime it serves well as a bookend to hold my DVD collection vertical.. Years pass & I change addresses two or three times…. but then this arrives in the post:

But I confess, it wasn’t entirely random; its creator emailed first, asking for my postal address in a manner not dis-similar to poetry (and not Nigerian spam poetry either) yet here I am, wondering about the intent… sonic product placement in a film or album? it DOES make some cute sounds, although the drumstick-like object made from chewing gum is a little disconcerting…. but the cassette tape IS sealed; there is no evil intent….

Conclusions? Conclusions will have to wait until I get my stethoscope (contact mic) out & verify what my ears are hinting at: used very, very carefully it makes exquisite percussive sounds… And apart from the objects entombed, the rubber band taped in place reminded me of this video which given enough downtime I have tagged to remix into some kind of aphexian cat-powered windowlicker bizo:

So if I build a samplebank from this object, how does it compare with the weirdest object you’ve sampled? PS thanks to you both, oh crazy atom-shifters! Music this way comes! For anyone else so inspired, my postal address is: POBOX 6829, Marion Square, Wellington 6141, New Zealand…. But please do include a return address (physical & email) so I can send you what I make with your gift…. domo arigatou!